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Steve Lanigan- Donating a kidney

Donating a Kidney - My Experience

At 35 years of age, I had not experienced being a patient in hospital. Sure there were the tests during the transplant work up that was only a day here and there. This seemed to be for real.

We were visiting Melissa on Monday, 29 July 1996 during her dialysis and Angela and I checked in at 4.00pm. The ward sister showed us to my room and even at that point things did not seem real. Here I was checking in as a healthy lump when our little sweetheart was exhausted in hospital next door during her dialysis. We did not stay long at Westmead. We had an afternoon tea together and a chat. We were supporting each other through this. Neither of us had a chance yet to feel frightened for what lay ahead. This just had to be done. There was no other way. We had no choice in the matter. We could not deny Melissa this chance nor Suzanne, Melissas big sister who had showed enormous resilience.

Suzanne shouldered much of this burden in the final days. We were completely preoccupied with Melissa. My parents brought Suzanne up to the new hospital and both girls just hugged each other for what seemed to be an eternity. Suzanne whispered gently in Melissas ear and then they embraced again. It looked so beautiful. Then in seconds the Sega machine was on and intense computer competition was back on. My cousin Phillip arrived from work at 6.00pm and we all decided to have a final party in Melissas room that night. Melissa was tired by 7.30pm. Phillip left and my parents were preparing to take Suzanne and Georgia home. I walked them all back to the car. Suzanne and I just held hands. Neither of us could talk. This was hard - saying goodbye to Suzanne that night was heart breaking. My wife Angela and I then got Melissa settled and pondered what the next day would bring. As the song says: Things can only get better.

Back to Westmead, at ward B3A, all was quiet. Everyone who worked there knew what was going to happen the next morning. No more food or drink for me for a couple of days. Angela and I did not say goodbye but rather I would phone when she got back to Melissas room. When Angela left, the procedures began. I was told to be up by 5.30am, showered and all ready to go to the theatre by 6.00am. All went to plan. The journey to the theatre was spooky. Suddenly, I felt afraid for the very first time. I was cold. I felt lonely. The preparation room was already busy. A lady with what looked like a shower cap said to me Hi Steve. It was nice to see a familiar face. Why was she here? It was Suzannes guide leader. She had known for weeks but did not want to intrude on our situation. Suddenly I felt more secure. This lady was in charge of the entire procedure. She knew what she was doing. This was her job - of course she knew what she was doing. It was so cold down here. I began to shiver and shake again. The anaesthetist came into the room. What a night Ive had he said to his colleague. Just the confident remark that I was waiting for.

Next thing the epidural was in place. Dr Lau came in and within minutes the gas was applied. I did not even try to fight the sensation of being put to sleep. It was a relief. The gas sent me into the most beautiful garden. Everything was so peaceful there. The feeling of complete relaxation was extraordinary.

As soon as I woke up, I was fully aware of what was happening. Angela was there with me in the recovery room. The lady in charge of the theatre rang her and let her come in. I remember asking how Melissa was. Is she OK? Is my baby cured? Of course, Melissa did not even have her new kidney by that time. It was all to early.

It was back to the ward for me. At this point it was painful. I felt paralysed down the right hand side of my body but the left hand side was aching. Evidently, I had rolled onto my right hand side after the operation and the anaesthetic gathered down one side. I managed to get some sleep that afternoon. We had been introduced to the entire transplant team some weeks before and this included the hospital chaplain, a lady, perhaps in her fifties. I remember opening my eyes that afternoon and there she was with the most tender look on her face. I just want you to know that Melissas new kidney is doing just fine. It was like a message from heaven. It soothed my pain. After this, there seemed to be a steady stream of visitors. Mum, Dad, Suzanne, Angela and Georgia. Then a friend who also Happens to be Melissas Intensive Care Physician came by. Then I remember Lisas sister coming in who works in an adjoining area. The Dr Hodson, Melissas doctor for the past four and a half years.

Suzannes gentleness that night will remain with me forever. Here she was trying to cope with her sister and Dad being in hospital and all she could do was provide support to everyone else around her. She is so selfless. She is such a treasure. Not many parents are blessed with such a child.

The news of the next few days just got better and better. Melissa and I spoke on the phone on day 2. The conversation went a little like this:-

Hi Melissa, how are you?

Good Dad, how are you? Dad, do they ask you what you want to eat?

No love, Ive not been hungry.

Well they asked me, then they bring something different. Its a waste of time.

I remember thinking at that point, is it only the kidney they have taken.

My pain eased over the next few days and it seemed to ease more and more with the good news we were getting from the Childrens Hospital.

The experience was not that bad.